Today was a pretty typical Tuesday. I went through my usual routine; the alarm clock on my cell phone woke me up at 7:20 am. Unless I've go to bed at a really late time or drink (which I rarely do anymore, especially on weekdays), getting up at that time is not such a huge pain. In fact, getting up early in the morning here has been more of a welcome delight than a chore. I suppose that means I enjoy what I'm doing here? Trying to get me up at that time during my formative years i.e. college years and I would've most likely turned off my alarm with only the faintest of regrets over not having attended a class for the umpteenth straight day. To this day I still wonder what caused my lack of motivation during my last couple years in college. Was it my major? Surely, studying 2,000 Greek literature isn't always going to be the most entertaining of subjects. It wasn't always like that though. Initially I found the world of Homer, Virgil, and Ovid to be.. mysterious, and a sign of ones erudition. I still love Greek tragedies- Lately, I'm starting to find more comfort in tragic endings in the novels that I read then happy ones. Is that morose? Wonder what that says about my psyche? Anyway, as college went on, somewhere down the line I just floundered along in my studies. To say I regret this is only half true because the other part of me says, 'amor fati, learn from the past, self-reproach is a waste time'. Then again, maybe it had nothing to do with my major at all. Perhaps it was the poisoning of my body seemingly every other night for no good or even border line intelligent reason. Youthful folly is a lovely apologist euphemism for being complete dumb ass. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'hindsight is always 20/20'. Well maybe that's the case, but I happen to think hindsight is more like 20/10 with things as trivial and meaningless of the things I've done. If I haven't told you already, I'm in the process of applying to a couple graduate schools out here in Korea. Of course, I had to write a personal statement which I did. I sent my personal statement to one of my professors so that he could write a more thorough letter of recommendation for me. Being the gracious person that he is, he wrote me a letter of rec. and edited my personal statement without my request. Naturally, one of the things I avoided in my essay was explaining (I'd say rationalizing) my mediocrity during the last couple years. The professor whom wrote my letter of rec. openly pointed out why I had not written about my 'failure to apply myself'. To my dismay however, I cannot think of any intelligent equivocation or specious defense of why my GPA went from a 3.46 to a 3.0 during the latter three years of college. I want to re-rewrite my personal statement with an eloquent speech, 'don't mind my last couple years of college- I only pissed away a fairly strong GPA and landed in a puddle of academic malaise. I really do want to re-rewrite it this way but I don't have the vaguest notion of how to do so?..

After reading over this entry I've noticed that my aim starting out was to tell you about my 'typical Tuesday' yet I ending up rambling on about my woes as a student. I'm sure if you've been following my blog you aren't the least bit surprised I interpolated another one of my half-baked observations. My intention throughout my blog thus far will be to find out whether or not I can eventually write myself out of my facetious digressions and ostensibly pointless musings.