Musings of Home

These past few weeks, perhaps month have certainly been the most agonizing of times here. A deep melancholy angst has overcome me. The cause of which I do not know. Can it be Fall's onset and the approach of winter? This is the first time in my life where I can actually feel a noticeable difference in the weather. When I arrived the unfamiliar exoticness of the place seemed to cancel out the chilly temperatures or at least periodically distracted me from them. Also, going from winter to spring is not a bad transition while you're getting adjusted to a completely different culture. The retrogression into shorter colder days however is welcome only in the fact that autumn saves you from the irritating humidity of summer.

Aside from the weather I'm having to confront the more troubling uncertainty of my future. This I hate probably more than anything else- hell, it kept me from graduating college for so long! I do not know what I'll be doing come February and that scares and depresses me a great deal. The options currently only the table are as follows: a) I've just applied to graduate school to get an m.a. in international relations here- provided A, I get in of course, and B, the school gives me some sort of financial aid I really would like to do this b) I can teach another year again here- kind of apathetic/mildly interested in doing this another year right now; could be because I've been down lately, and lastly option c) I could come home and face the worst job market in oo I don't know fifty some odd years- always a compelling reason to come home. So in a nutshell that's what in store for me on paper.

And yet another reason I'm feeling like The Dude after getting his rug stolen is for the first time I'm homesick or maybe not homesick but more appropriately, 'friend-sick'- a term I brilliantly coined while writing this very blog (I'm a god damn genius sometimes, I really am). It'd be nice to watch some college football or maybe even just talk about football. The people that live around me either don't like football out of defective personalities or they're from a lousy country like Canada which you might argue are one and the same. I'd like to watch my alma mater try to compete with schools that seemingly recruit better maladjusted athletes yet have not much to offer other than lots of rain- the entire north west, smelly brainless hippies- again north west, fugly women- most of the schools except the Arizona ones or S fuckin C, people who are completely socially inept way past the point of amusement- Standford take a bow, grunge rock- Berkley on up, and or boiler plate schools masquerading as legitimate institutions of higher learning e.g. Oregon State or most of the Pac-10 for that matter. I'd also like to play some beer pong during the day against people who actually treat peer bong as if it actually mattered who wins and then beat them at it. Some real Mexican food cooked by immigrants of questionable legal status would be welcomed. Having a decent steak once in a while would be nice too. Yea... it's safe to say I miss home. Maybe I'll be over this in a month or two I don't know.....

The Fall Classic and other trifling matters

Fall has enveloped the Korean peninsula. The rice fields which blanket the countryside around me have tinged yellowish-green; it's quite a sight to see. The dearth of vegetation and trees still remaining have only partially begun to welcome autumn which is to say they're spattered with bits of yellow and green. The air has noticeably lost its merciless humidity thank G-d or thank goodness; divinity or not, I'm appreciative of the cooler weather. We're a month and a half into my second semester of teaching a language I, myself, am still trying to conquer. The novelty and some of the new found wonderment of teaching has wore off and with it has come the enduring task of facing a perpetually confounding reality. I'm taking a Korean language class at the nearby university and am slowly, agonizingly learning bits and pieces of a world which has long remained so damn elusive. Naturally it makes life a little more bearable when you can ask for more milk in your coffee or are actually able to discern the contents of the menu you're looking at. Yesterday, (Sunday) the history teacher at my school called me at about 10 in the morning to invite me to go to a Korean baseball game. In the reckless depravity of college, calling me at 10 in the morning would be an excellent way of hearing my voicemail. Now, my usual weekend mornings around town consists of getting up around 8:30-9:00. Walking down the street a couple minutes to the nearest 'restaurant' which specializes in making these toast egg-cheese sandwiches. They spread this sugary sauce on the wonder bread (to my constant dismay, you can't readily buy whole wheat bread in most places here) and you can get different things on the sandwich like ham, tuna, or the Korean favorite, bulgogi (beef sauteed with a special and completely overrated Korean sauce). I usually get just the standard egg-cheese (they use bon-fide American cheese btw) and sometimes when I'll feel a bit like a heathen I'll order it with ham. Anyway, I usually get one of these sandwich toast type things and read whatever book I happen to be reading at the time for an hour-two hours. I happened to be reading when I got invited to go to the baseball game. This game was the second I've attended but unlike the last one, this game was a playoff game. The atmosphere at Korean baseball games are pretty intense, at least the ones I've been to and they both been sellouts. If I said 'electric' that'd be the wrong and overused word so I think I'll just stick with intensely different to throw in an adverb for good measure. Nearly everyone has thunder-sticks and when your team is at bat your chanting pretty much the whole time. It's definitely a lot more participatory then American baseball (and not coincidentally, American democracy). Most of the chants are in English- big surprise there, which makes it easier for me to get into the merriment. The have ultra attractive cheerleaders that dance on top of the dug out in between innings- needless to say but this is obvious denigration to women and spectacle of promiscuity is certainly something the imperialist MLB should learn. The downside to all this was my team, the Doosan Bears ended up losing. The series is now tied 2-2 (best of five) and the winner of this game goes on to the Korean World Series (aaaaaaaaa oooooo!!) They play tomorrow night (Tuesday) at 5 should you might want to watch the Doosan Bears take on the SK Wyverns (it's a dragon type animal- I had no idea either just like when Weeks explained what a yeti was to me). Well, it's 10:42 and my bedtimes is nearing. Next time maybe I'll discuss whether I have seasonal depression (seasonal affective disorder), melancholic depression, or the much diagnosed manic depression in a special upcoming blog entitled- why the bleep have I been feeling so shitty lately?